June 18, 2010

So many straight lines, so little time..

The dreaded vuvuzela claims its first victim: Woman bursts her windpipe 'by blowing too hard'

Insurance saleswoman Yvonne Mayer, 29, was unable to speak or eat for two days after ripping her windpipe when she blew the three foot horn during a street party in Cape Town.

The next day shocked doctors diagnosed her with a ruptured throat and ordered her to rest it completely to allow it to heal.

The bizarre injury is the first known vuvuzela-related accident since the World Cup kicked off last week.

Yvonne, from Cape Town, said: 'I had never blown a vuvuzela before but was given one at work and was going to watch the first South Africa match so thought I'd take it along.

'I was walking towards the Fan Park in Cape Town and blowing it as hard as I could when suddenly my throat started to hurt.

She should of..

Now there's a woman who..

Didn't she used to star in that movie, Deep..

..naw. I can't do it. I must preserve what little dignity is left on this site. I'll just leave it at her being only one in thousands of terminally stupid and annoying people in South Africa who are ruining it for football fans watching all over the world.

(But not for me, old son. I have got about 16 hours of pre-recorded ESPN Tractor Pulls and Monster Truck shows to catch up on.)


  1. please be careful with the "football fans" comment. I know that everywhere else that is the phrase, but it is just hard for me to swallow.
    wait, thats what she.....

  2. All I know is this woman's uvula was damaged by a vuvuzuela. Isn't that enough U's and V's for one night?

  3. Damn, what does a guy say after Opie's comment.

    I'll Try ... If she had eaten a lemon first, she would have had large amounts of saliva to lube her throat.

  4. >I have got about 16 hours of pre-recorded ESPN Tractor Pulls and Monster Truck shows to catch up on.

    So you're saying that you don't like kickball?

  5. ..nah, it's just that you can't hear those goddam vuvuzelas over the roar of a D-9.

  6. Yeah, regardless of the country, soccer fans always seem to go out of their way to be annoying.

    I kind of have mixed feelings about soccer. I started playing AYSO in the early 70s, and have always enjoyed both playing and watching, but I tend to dislike soccer players. Too many arrogant primadonnas who suffer the delusion that there is anything even remotely complex about kickball.

    And then there's the drama flop (you know, falling on the ground, clutching your shin, and moaning like a baby if somebody runs within a foot of you. Anybody that does a drama flop should lose his man card permanently.

    When shut up, cowboy up, and play the game, it's a great sport.

    Although, it should be legal to shoot any player that does the running around with arms outstretched like an airplane celebration thing.

  7. "When shut up" = "When they shut up"

    Also, I forgot to close my parentheses in the previous paragraph.

    But hey, it's the weekend. I guess it's okay for me to take a bit of a walk on the wild side. I'm livin' on the edge!