December 31, 2010

2011 is here..

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Decrypted:


..amplified by 3 dB..


..and by 6 dB..


..as Eddie Murphy waould say, "Merry New Year!" Now go have a wee jolt of Irish Whiskey.


-30-

December 29, 2010

Happy New Year: Events I am looking forward to in 2011..

"Please fasten you seat belts and make sure you trays are locked.."
Well, let's start this off with an event in the first week of the New Year: Nancy Pelosi handing the Speaker's Gavel over to John Boenher.

Somewhat later might be the first commercial jet ex-speaker Pelosi takes whose cabin depressurizes and causes her botoxed face to explode.

I'm hoping both make it to You Tube.

-30-

December 28, 2010

Have a slim fast..

Waiter, "..just one more wafer-thin mint, ma'amselle.."

There's a paucity of stuff to write about today and -- suffering through the usual post Boxing Day depression that -- I thought I'd pass along this little tidbit (words dripping with irony here) bound to make you all feel less guilty about your Yuletide engorgement.

It seems that there's a lady out there in Jersey who's feeling the (heart)burn in order to get into the record books:

A New Jersey woman who hopes to become the fattest woman in the world got 30,000 calories closer to her 1,000lb goal with a festive feast that could have fed dozens of revelers.

She's doing her impersonation of Diamond Jim Brady, pounding down the grunts with gusto in order to make it into the books:
46-stone (644 pounds) Donna Simpson, sitting in a reinforced metal chair, chowed down on the world's biggest Christmas dinner as she ate for two straight hours on Saturday.

The single mother-of-two tucked into two 25lb turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15lbs of potatoes (10lbs roast, 5lbs mashed), five loaves of bread, five pounds of herb stuffing, four pints of gravy, four pints of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 20lbs of vegetables.
She's already in the Guinness Book of Records as the largest female human to give birth and methinks with a few more snacks like her December 25th feast she's intent on closing in on largest mammal to do the same.

I'll lay aside all of the opportunities to comment snidely on this lady's quest for fame save to recite the litany of her menu:

  • 2 portions of 25lb oven roasted turkeys
  • 2 portions of 15lb maple glazed hams
  • 10lbs of roast potatoes
  • 5lbs of mashed potatoes
  • 5lbs of chopped carrots
  • 5lbs of sweetcorn
  • 5lbs of roasted butternut squash
  • 5 parcels of house-baked bread
  • 4 pints of cranberry relish
  • 4 pints of home-made gravy
  • 5lbs of herbed stuffing
  • 1 tray of mixed green salad including salad dressing.

Her calorie total was 30,000. Pass the bi-carb..

..oh yes, and the obligatory embedding of the skit from Monthy Python's Meaning of Life.


-30-

December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas, Mr Scrooge, in keeping with the situation..

..as we sail into Christmas day, The War Planner and Mrs War Planner will be plying the routes of commerce tomorrow in order to shore up some loose ends, lumps-of-coal-in-the-stocking-wise. So we may very well be in our cups by the time Santa negotiates the DEW line to consume all of the cookies and milk (or, liverwurst sammiches and cold bottle of Spaten Pils set out by the more thoughtful households). Consequently, I wanted to wish all you out there a very merry Christmas and/or politically correct happily joyous RamaHanaKwanzaaMas observance to the supreme deity of your choice.

In the spirit of Christmas, therefore, I present for your enjoyment my absolute favorite scene from one of the best old time Christmas movies: Scrooge, made in 1951 and starring Alastair Sim in the title role.


..to see further adventures of Scrooge's heartwarming rehabilitation, herewith is the conclusion of that wonderful movie.


You can have your Bing Crosby and Jimmy Stewart Yuletide flicks, these scenes -- guaranteed -- bring a tear to my eye and what vestige of Christmas spirit that can be wrung out of this over-commercialized season even in the bleakest of years.

Of course, my modern day favorite would have to be Dennis Leary's The Ref, a cynical sure-fire cure for those treacly, saccharine-induced diabetic comas that this time of year serves up.

NEXT FILM REVIEW: The War Planner reviews famous Boxing Day movies for the only holiday less well known and less well observed than Ground Hog Day. So I am thinking, what, The Champ, Rocky I, II, III, IV, V, VI, MCMLXII,  whatever:


In the mean time, chug-a-lug that egg nog and roast them chestnuts!

-30-

December 22, 2010

Just sayin..

..or so these headlines on Drudge seem to be sayin':


Lip-flapper-in-chief, The Lying Sack.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve, everybody. Party hearty these next seven days and then come back on 1-1-11 Ready To Rumble..

 -30-

Dennis Miller on life..

..and other important matters. I have loved this guy since his "9-11 conversion". I wish I coulda been turned on to him when he did MFN. Ten-minute rant; enjoy..


..only person who makes BO'REilly tolerable except when Laura stands in for Boring Bill. Nice to see/hear hip folks do the "I love America; Mooz-lems suck" shtick and have the audience applaud.

"Pelosi Galore"? I love it!

-30-

December 21, 2010

Milestone..

Arlen Sphincter is gone..

One instance where diarrhea of the mouth is supremely troubling..

And, in reference to the remark I made in the Pamela Reed post below, here's one case where you pick up the daily rag and hope to find and obit about a person and pray that his final days were spent squatting over a steam grate in Pittsburgh swilling Sneaky Pete from a brown paper bag or shrieking in agony from terminal rectal cancer.

He left the Senate pissing and moaning about how the system slammed the door on his ass or something:

"Congressman Mike Castle was rejected in Delaware’s Republican primary in favor of a candidate who thought it necessary to defend herself as not being a witch,” said Specter. “The spectacular reelection of Sen. Lisa Murkowski on a write-in vote in the Alaska general election and the defeat of other tea party candidates may show the way to counter right-wing extremists.”

To quote Allahpundit over at Hot Air!,

"He went out the way he came in. As a squishy careerist tool.."

Visit the Hot Air! thread; there's some absolutely delicious sentiments expressed about this idiot's departure.

What an angy, garrolous twit. He will be missed..Not!

-30-

December 20, 2010

Pamela Reed, everywoman..

This post is about a lady whom I unabashedly had a secret crush on. By the way, usually when folks run articles with black and white pics it usually heralds an obit..

..you know, one of those fragments of the daily rag you glance at in preparing the cushion that will insulate your pooch's solid and (some) liquid offering from the concrete of the patio. (Heretofore, in the War Planner household that meant the Los Anglees Slimes or the Orange County Ragister. Not so now, as our residence has become a pulp-free zone.) Anyway, a pic catches your eye and you discover that some personality you adore (or despise) has shuffled off their mortal coil and joined the bleeding choir eternal.

This  is NOT the case with Pamela Reed. She is, insofar as I know, as alive and kicking as she was back in the 80s when I first came to adore her.

So now, there are supermodels and the skinny, bulbous-breasted, ratted-hair skanks that seem to always make the news because they are either going into or getting out of (1) drug rehab, (2) abusive relationships, (3) the county lockup, or (4) all three of the above. We are treated to their mindless, abrasive prattle, over-exposed tits, butt, and skinny legs, and adolescent bleating about war, peace, animal fur, world hunger, and global warming.

And the puerile-minded of those among us sit at home, eating this vacuous offal up in large helpings between 24-hour marathons of American Idol and Sexy Housewives of Milpitas, California.

Pamela Reed came to me (or, I should say, my attention) as Kurt Russel's wife in the Robin Williams vehicle, The Best of Times. She had a passable figure (who cares) and one of those faces that bespeaks of the date you got fixed up with and, at first sight, was a disappointment. Then, as the night wore on, you came to realize that sweet face fronted a great mind, lively wit and -- no, really -- a good personality.

Somehow, you knew you would end up going steady with her, marrying her, and you and she would be staring back at 30 years of marriage, three kids who were (1) a doctor, (2) a college professor, and (3) a Major in the U.S. Air Force who flew C-130s in Desert Storm and now instructs at the Air Force Academy. (Hey, it's my fantasy; go write your own blog.) And you would be as comfortable with her now as you were over that very first beer in The Oar House in Santa Ana 35 years ago.

She was great in every role I saw her in and, I must admit, my favorite was her portrayal of Belle Starr in Walter Hill's The Long Riders. She had that [18]80's sultry look. The type of woman you wouldn't mind ponying up $15 for (or, if you were lucky, she'd discount her rate by $2.50) after long weeks on dusty trails or punching cattle. Whatever.

So after a grand and glorious career, you'd think this woman would be shot through-and-through with Hollywood, imbued with the glam of the industry and all that. 

Apparently, not so.

I mean you gotta love a woman whose IMDB trivia is so bereft of affectation as to defy belief. While there are many notable actors on that site that load up their brag sheets with such truckloads of manure that the aroma is enough to drive you away, clearly Pam is not one of them:

Trivia
Won a Cable Ace Award as Best Actress for the HBO series "Tanner '88" (1988).

Received her Bachelor of Arts from the University of Washington.

Earned a Drama Desk Award for the off-Broadway play "Getting Out" and an Obie award for 'sustained excellence in performance in theater.'

Helped raise money for a local fire station.

She and her husband adopted both of their children, Reed and Lily.

Had hip surgery in 1999.

Her engagement ring got stolen on the set of a movie, so she had to replace it.

Had a fire in her basement in 2001.

Personal Quotes
"In twenty years of being in Hollywood, this is what I've learned; If I want my hair to look good, I bend over and brush it - then I leave my house."

Where Are They Now
(December 2004) Resides in Hancock Park, California with husband and kids.

Had a fire in her basement after raising money for a local fire department? One hopes she got a good response. Otherwise, I cannot imagine such a rock-solidly plain and unaffected collection of remembrances; so plan as to be appealing. And, her quote about her Hollywood  career life lessons amounting to nothing more than ONE hair grooming technique. That's my kind of woman, salt of the earth and all that.

So, there's Rule Five Friday and countless gorgeous pin-ups made available for  the male psyche out there. But give me the good, plain, simple, kind, sweet, unaffected ladies any day! 

Pam, don't ever change! I love you just the way you are: for all of the simple goodness you represent.


..it's sorta the way I feel about Mrs War Planner, by the way.

-30-

December 19, 2010

..dididadadidit..

As an amateur radio operator, I can send and receive Morse code at 20 wpm (on a good night with no QRM) and can contest at about 30 WPM if pushed. Contests are fragmented, repeated conversations comprised of the call signs (i.e., K6WHP), signal strength reports, and the official exchange (state, city, or other significant information as the rules of the 'test dictate).

Not bragging it's just a fact.

But contests have formats that are highly stylized patterns and once one understands the pattern, one can fill in the blanks with the repetition involved in the transmissions.

However, there are those who engage in HST -- high speed telegraphy -- at speeds in excess of 50 WPM and do this in plain text with no abbreviations. One of my good friends and fellow QRPer -- Chuck Adams, K7QO, in Prescott, Arizona -- is number eight on the list of those who send and receive ("copy") Morse code at such a blinding rate -- 140 WPM -- as to be incomprehensible to even those who are familiar with the discipline. Here is an article int he WSJ about Chuck:


In the above video, Chuck is engaged in a conversation ("QSO") at a modest 18 WPM -- probably out of courtesy to the ham on the other side of the contact. It does not trouble Chuck as he is a devotee of this art and would like to keep it alive for posterity. I have had a few QSOs with Chuck on 30 meters (10.115 MHz) and my limitations have kept Chuck (and others) at a sedate 15-20 WPM so that I could copy.

To give you another reference about Morse code speed and skills, consider this. A few years back, Jay Leno had a contest wherein he pitted some kids (he said derisively) who were supposedly at the top of their game texting messages to one another using this new-fangled technology versus a couple of old-time hams (actually, guys about my age) sending a message to one another using Morse code. As you might surmise, the kids got their clocks cleaned. I won't dredge up the You Tube video -- it used to be all over the internet -- but those guys were sending at the rate of 22 WPM which is just a shade faster than I can operate at. I am fairly typical of most ardent amateur radio CW operators so, basically, there's a whole bunch of us codgers out here who can shut down all of the young kids with their blackberries..

.so..boo-yah on you!

But to get an idea of what HST is all about, take a look at the video below; this guy is ripping off the text on that menu at 60 WPM. Can you imagine what speeds 80% faster would be like?


I can't either.

-..72 ES GL..DIT DIT..-

Merry Chrsitmas from Tiger Valley, Texas..

..y'all.



TIGER Valley is a premier firearms and operational skills training facility located in central Texas. The facility includes a 1000 yard KD range, UKD range, shoot house, six story tower and nine tactical training bays. TIGER Valley offers pre-designed courses as well as custom designed classes to meet the training requirements of Federal, State, and local Law Enforcement agencies; military personnel; and private citizens.

-30-

December 18, 2010

The inmates are running the asylum..

..they also vote and breed.

1Lt Kevin "Sky" King of USAFA SQ 150, Long Beach, California passes along this vignette of the mental giants of TSA dealing with some of military returning from a war zone

As the Chalk Leader for my flight home from Afghanistan, I witnessed the following:

When we were on our way back from Afghanistan , we flew out of Baghram Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards. Our first stop was Shannon, Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to stop at Indianapolis, Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the Indiana National Guard. That's where the stupid started.

First, everyone was forced to get off the plane-even though the plane wasn't refueling again. All 330 people got off that plane, rather than let the 100 people from the ING get off. We were filed from the plane to a holding area. No vending machines, no means of escape. Only a male/female latrine.

It's probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons. Everyone was carrying an M4 Carbine (rifle) and some, like me, were also carrying an M9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of course, the weapons weren't loaded. And we had been cleared of all ammo well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.

The TSA personnel at the airport seriously considered making us unload all of the baggage from the SECURE cargo hold to have it re-inspected. Keep in mind, this cargo had been unpacked, inspected piece by piece by U.S. Customs officials, resealed and had bomb-sniffing dogs give it a one-hour run through. After two hours of sitting in this holding area, the TSA decided not to reinspect our Cargo-just to inspect us again:

Soldiers on the way home from war, who had already been inspected, reinspected and kept in a SECURE holding area for 2 hours. O.K., whatever. So we lined up to go through security AGAIN. This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying pistols.

So we're in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers! TSA informs the Soldier that they're going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:

TSA Guy: You can't take those on the plane.

Soldier: What? I've had them since we left country.

TSA Guy: You're not supposed to have them.

Soldier: Why?

TSA Guy: They can be used as a weapon.

Soldier: [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a weapon. And I'm allowed to take it on.

TSA Guy: Yeah but you can't use it to take over the plane. You don't have bullets.

Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?

TSA Guy: [awkward silence]

Me: Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get the **** out of here. I'll buy you a new set.

Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]

To top it off, the TSA demanded we all be swabbed for "explosive residue" detection. Everyone failed. Go figure, we just came home from a war zone], because we tested positive for "Gun Powder Residue". Who the hell is hiring these people?

This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233 people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine guns..

..but nothing that could have been used as a weapon.

Can someone please tell me what the hell happened to OUR country while we were gone?

Sgt. Mad Dog Tracy

-30-

December 17, 2010

Date night, fellow babies..

(Because I felt like it, that's why..)


For the record:
She was a fast machine
She kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen
She had the sightless eyes
Telling me no lies
Knockin' me out with those American thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there

'Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -

Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long

Working double time
On the seduction line
She was one of a kind, she's just mine all mine
Wanted no applause
Just another course
Made a meal out of me and came back for more
Had to cool me down
To take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing

'Cause the walls were shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -

Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long

And knocked me out and then you
Shook me all night long
You had me shakin' and you
Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me
Well you took me

[..guitar riff..]

You really took me and you
Shook me all night long
Ooooh you
Shook me all night long
Yeah, yeah, you
Shook me all night long

Your really took me and you
Yeah you shook me, yeah you shook me
All night long..

-30-

Looking ahead..

"That a**hole is always hogging everyone's limelight.."

1Lt Bill Preston of the USAFA sends this highlight for the upcoming year:

Next year, Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address BOTH occur on the same day.  "This is an ironic juxtaposition of events: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, while the other involves a groundhog."

RUST NEVER SLEEPS UPDATE: I got double-teamed today. This one is from Major Joe Di Mento:

On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife were listening to the radio during breakfast.  They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through.”  So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through."” So the good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.  You must park...."  Then the electric power went out.  The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do.  Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?"

Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied,  "Why don't you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time?"

 -30-

December 15, 2010

Catching up..

I got decked by a cold a couple of days ago. It was, hopefully, a fast-mover and I am now in the draining stages, sitting with the TV remote, boxes of Kleenex, a bottle of Lismore, and my favorite USMC tumbler (a gift of The Good Lance Corporal last Christmas) close at hand.

So the cable offerings turned out to be homogenized road droppings. (How many times can one watch Ground Hog Day during the Christmas season, anyway?) And I can't go out to the ham shack in the garage for fear of exacerbating my malady. So 40m CW is out (the band is dead anyway) and the work on my BitX17a is forestalled.

So, I am in the process of visiting some sites from around the 'Rez and elsewhere and thought I would pathetically attempt to make this genius elsewhere go viral. (Please refrain from that inane sniggering, thank you.)

PICK SOME UP AT RITE AIDE IF YOU GO: Anyway, master of the macabre, big cheese of the bizarre, fuhrer of the funky, our own Woodsterman another in his series of motivational posters on offer. This one lept out at me:


So provocative on so many levels; what I want to know is where did the lady get that BIG Q-tip?

IT'S A DOG'S LIFE: On a slightly more conventional note, Supi over at Just An Artist provides this adorable insurrection by a canine coterie. A lovely and cute Christmas salutation:


No, it ain't the You Tube video; that's over at Supi's site. Give her a hit and watch it!

SIDEBAR HUMOR: The Malcontent rips off this Yuletide funny. Well, it's anti-Moozlem, anyway:

I almost forgot to tell you this important news: A friend of mine just started his own business.

He manufactures landmines that look like Muslim prayer mats. It's doing well.

He says prophets are going through the roof.

By the way, he is in NYC and his blog looks interesting. I want to do a little scouting and I'll get back to you.

AMERICA HELD HOSTAGE: Carol over at No Sheeples rolls out a parody of Koppel's Night Line series on America Held Hostage with Little Johnny One-Note and his famous whistling teeth. (Jee-zus! They're annoying!)


..and, no, this is not the real thing. Ya gotta go to No Sheeples' site to enjoy the experience.

Oh Drat! The glass is empty; I shall return..

PLUMBING NEW DEPTHS: Sorry about the delay. Mrs War Planner just finished putting up the tree here and -- and -- baked a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies.  So, I just had to see how they went with a couple of slugs of Lismore.
(they were damned good, as a matter of fact!)

Anyway, here's some info that should warm all of your hearts on this chilly Christmas season night: The Child Emperor has seemingly slipped into a new outer orbit of Rasmussen numbers and his Strongly Approve number is THE LOWEST ON RECORD at 22% -- it is almost half of those who Strongly Disapprove and less than half of the Total Approve. Screw it, here's the numbers:

Click on me to view the gory details..
" ..[Obama's] chestnuts roasting by an open fire.."
  
-30-

December 14, 2010

The Drooler returns..

This guy is like the crazy uncle who shows up at Sunday dinner, helps himself to one too many sherries, is incessantly flatulent, and mumbles offensive, inappropriate, antagonistic utterances to all of the guests.


Jimmah -- still clawing desperately for the  limelight ever since he was upstaged at the Boston Dem convention in 2004 by that cheese-burger sucking moron, Michael Moore -- now bloviates that the biggest failure of his presidency was NOT getting re-elected.

“I guess my biggest failure was not getting reelected,” Carter said.

And what did the southern Democrat learn from his 1980 electoral loss to Ronald Reagan?  “[N]ot to ever let American hostages be held for 444 days in a foreign country without extracting them.” He adds, “I did the best I could, but I failed.”

Carter also claimed that Sen. Ted Kennedy’s challenge in the Democratic primaries “cost me a lot of votes,“ and that he ”should have paid more attention to the organization of the Democratic Party.”

“I was not only the leader of our nation, but I was also the leader of the Democratic Party. And I think I failed in that respect to keep the party united.”

In addition, Carter says that America has lost its competitive edge, the U.S. is ready for a gay president and Israel should withdraw from Palestinian territory.

Wow! While his assertions are pretty absurd, that last one is a howler. I mean, some guy who was a retired Marine Lieutenant Colonel who served honorably, came out when DADT was repealed, and got either party's nomination would not trouble me at all: content of his (or her) character and all that.

But, I wish this Jew-hating old bastard would just choke on a piece of gefilte fish or something.

Go to the link if you if you must, but be advised that they got a video there and you DON'T want to click on it and listen to this dessicated old peanut farmer drone on and on and on and on.

GRATUITOUS CARTOON UPDATE: With sincere apologies to No Sheeples and Woodsterman  (and others here associated with the Left Coast resistance) who amass the most profoundly artistic (Carol) and bizarre (Odie) collection of images on their sites, I happened to stumble on a good set of art over at  The Right Reasons. The one below kinda fits into the tenor of this post -- lame, dumb-assed, senile, overly busy, failed waste of skin former president -- so I appropriated it.



-30-

December 12, 2010

Outfall..

..in the blog-arama, the story continues to grow legs. Wonderful by-products emerge:


ADDITIONAL, WAGGISH, CHURLISH REMARKS UPDATE: Try these on for size..
  • After a few terms int he Illinois state senate and twenty minutes in the U.S. Senate where his record consisted mainly of voting "present", The Child Emperor finally votes "not present".
  • Chris "The Slobberer" Matthews says Obama & Clinton "An Alliance Made By God And The Democratic Party"
  • We watch a sitting Boob, dishonor the office of the Presidency, by outsourcing his office to an Impeached former President.
  • Substitute Prez Slick Clintoon said that the first order of business is to debrief the interns.
  • As one observer noted, ‘Instead of leaving, Obama should have stuck around to see how it’s done.’
..hat tip to the multiple and various comment threads on this matter.

-30-

December 11, 2010

A rare look at The War Planner..

I know many of us crave anonymity here on the blogosphere, but not the old War Planner. Yep, in fact I thought I'd post a video of me and my neighbors having a nice little chat on a Summer's eve last August. It seems they were curious about one onf my hobbies..


Betcha you all thought I looked like Slim Pickens. Well, of course I am much more handsome than that. I bear a striking resemblance to Claude Aikens. Of course, it's not all skittles and beer down there in the basement. I am constantly under fire form my HOA because of my antenna, BCI, and TVI. And some other governmental officials have problems with my operating practices.


..anyway, gotta go. I am starting to hear JA's and VK's on the low end of 40 meters and there's an old friend on the QRP calling channel up at 7,030 KHz.

72 ES GL.

dit. dit.

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The best for last..

(I said I wanted to take a hiatus to "play with some new toys". Well, among the new toys are those gift-wrapped beauties that President Golden Showers and his Dem coterie in Congress thrust upon us, begging a pre-Christmas opening..)

"yes, the lady in the back wearing the blue dress."
Some posts just write themselves. One of them has been the Kabuki by the Democrats and Obama over the fact that their incompetence, intransigence, inattention, and general in-your-face behavior has conspired to make a pig's breakfast of the Bush tax cut expiration on 1-1-11.

Well, let me rephrase that. If unattended to, then the new state of affairs on that date should be named The Obama Tax Increases. Plain and simple. Full stop.

In keeping with the gastronomic metaphor, not to rehash this but to chew over some of the more delicious morsels of this squalid buffet, I offer as courses of this pathetic repast the following:
  • Democrats do absolutely zero, zip, nada for an entire year except jam health care up the skirt of an American public who steadfastly preferred them to address jobs and the economy.
  • They postponed any action on this vital tax matter affecting virtually all of the tax-paying public until after November 2nd because they hoped to salvage their fading election hopes.
  • When handed an historically stunning rejection at the polls, they continued to drag their feet by substituting burning issues like the Dream Act or repeal of DADT.
  • Obama and the Dems continued their class warfare rhetoric on this subject right up until the moment that The Child Emperor eschewed his party leadership -- the Botoxed Bitch and Prince Harry the Dingy -- and ducked into a meeting with the ascending Republicans where he compromised(?) on a tax deal.
  • Immediately afterward, he emerged and, in an incredibly mono-partisan and ungracious manner, proceeded to hammer the very people with whom he forged an agreement, repeatedly calling them "hostage takers".
  • The lunatic fringe of his party (i.e., most of the current office-holding Democrats in Congress) go ballistic and excoriate this pathetic POTUS as a sell-out to the rich, the moneyed, and the powerful. Whi
  • While doing so, they proceed to lard up the tax bill with another 100 billion in pet projects like giveaways to Hollywood and Puerto Rican rum producers.
So that brings us up to a day or so ago where Obama begins another one of his promising-to-be-tedious press conferences by parading out The Cohibatator -- Billy Jeff Clinton -- as a co-respondent to the fourth estate's verbal inquiries.

The sound you heard was the collective dropping of jaws as Charming Billy strode to the podium and The Child Emperor assumed a subservient position to the left and rear of The Prevaricating Pantload from Pine Bluff.

Then, as if that weren't enough, Mr Golden Showers proffers some lame excuse about not wanting to piss off She of the Stevedore arms, Moo-Chelle, and exits stage left.

A-freaking-stounding! 

So, in yet another exhibition of incompetence, Mr Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time demonstrates to the American public that he is unable and unwilling to be president, to face the music, and to discharge the responsibilities of his office.

There are so many opportunities for humor here but my favorite has got to be the most obvious arc of this story line: Obama skips out on important events because he has to take either the dog or Moo-Chelle for walkies. You will remember, of course, when he skated on that Rhode Island political fund raiser using domestic duties as an excuse:

"I've got to get home because Michelle is on the road. So I've got to be home to tuck in the girls and walk the dog. And scoop the poop."

This time it was the FLOTUS. Hope he has a scooper and a really, really big poop bag.

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December 8, 2010

Going to take a hiatus..


..feeling a little singed of late and need to engage in some other projects over the Holidays. Forgive me if I press "standby" for a while..

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December 5, 2010

From the cattiness of politics to the natural beauty that surrounds us, here is something I purloined from the No Sheeple's sight. Thank you, Carol, for this brief moment of awe and wonder.



Perhaps, the artist above got his inspiration from the weirdest and most haunting of all head pieces from 1982: Koyaanisqatsi. The hypnotic score by Phillip Glass and the mesmerizing pictures are -- well -- engaging to say the least.

Below are three of the nine parts of the movie to be found on You Tube. The first part to set the context; the eighth and climactic part and the denouement of the ninth part.

Do this: queue them all up, pour yourself three fingers of your favorite poison, put them on full screen and watch in a quiet room with subdued lighting.




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Well, folks, he's ba-a-a-a-a-c-k..

"Can I check out this copy of 'Lady Chatterly's Lover'?"
It seems that Fat Lip Obama, surging with a surfeit of street creds after getting his labia stitched up, has been throwing The People's House's doors open yet again in a boogaloo-fest for leftist luminaries. He and Moo-bama, the Fahbulous FLOTUS with the stevedore arms, hosted the Kennedy Center honorees:

President Barack Obama [peace be unto him] and his wife, Michelle, have hosted Oprah Winfrey, Paul McCartney and other Kennedy Center honorees in a star-studded White House reception.

Country singer Merle Haggard, composer Jerry Herman, dancer-choreographer Bill Jones also were being honored for lifetime achievement in the performing arts, and welcomed by the president before the awards ceremony at the Kennedy Center.

Obama remarked it was the second time this year McCartney had visited the White House -- in July the former Beatles legend was awarded the Gershwin Prize for popular song, and sang "Michelle" to the First Lady.

"It was a thrill," said Obama. "Although apparently Paul joked afterward that he was worried he might become the first guy ever to get punched out by the president."

In the audience, McCartney pointed to his lower lip in reference to Obama's own busted lip, suffered earlier this week during a basketball game.

The president's injury came up again a little later in his speech when he stumbled on the word "superfluous" while reading from a teleprompter about the importance of the humanities.

"It's hard to say. You try it when you've had 12 stitches," Obama said to laughs.

 ..this clown is still milking this after three weeks? How pathetic can one be for material?

In the mean time, thanks, Fat Lip, for providing me the opportunity to gratuitously run that wonderful pic of Paul McCartney yet again.

..I mean, there are so-o-o-o few opportunities for photo-ops of one of the surviving Beatles what with him spending so much time in libraries and all that.

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Help for a troubled world..

November 28, 2010

Scarface in 5 seconds..


..God, I love these videos!

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Barry's fat lip..


12 stitch program?
In a really bad mood here; just came in from drinking with a few friends and saw that NPR actually believes that Barry took one in the mouth in a pickup basketball game gives him some sort of badge of manhood:

Just three weeks after getting a shellacking in the midterm elections, President Obama got a fat lip.

The president played basketball yesterday with some friends in the gym of the Fort McNair Army Base, and reportedly took an elbow in the mouth from an opposing player who went up for a shot.

It took 12 stitches to close The First Fat Lip, if you please. I'm not sure that Joe Frazier needed 12 stitches after the Thrilla in Manila, though the White House stressed that a smaller filament was used, which increases the number of stitches, but leaves a smaller scar.

I wonder if having a larger scar wouldn't actually fortify President Obama's profile, as he contends with Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Vladimir Putin. Imagine a president with a gnarly, vivid scar telling the rulers of China, "Nice country ya' got here. I'd hate to see something happen to it if you didn't stop foolin' around with the value of your currency. Know what I mean?"

Is this guy freaking serious?

I mean, geez Loise! What are the people at NPR smoking here? Even proposing that this faggoty, metro-sexual POSOTUS could stand up to Pajama Boy and the NorKos because he caught an elbow in the teeth is beyond ludicrous. It’s typical of the pantie-wearing feminized male and testosterone-besotted stevedore female “talent” over at that communist cesspool called National Pathetic Radio that they would think this.

Nothing The Child Emperor could do could forestall his being made any dictator’s bitch. The guy is a world-class loserand anyone who smooches his butt is a bigger suck-wipe than he is.

Bend over, Barry, and grab your ankles. Here comes the 3:10 from Yuma.

UPDATE: Here is a great pic on this theme..


Hat tip and credit here.

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November 26, 2010

..also GM's back and they're bad..

Regarding the schmaltzy piece-of-crap commercial below:


So, let's see. The government-backed execs of GM and the unions are thanking us for lending giving them our money by spending our money to thank us for..

..just checking.

As for the Animal House scene featuring John Belushi, I would offer this one as being more appropriate:



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November 25, 2010

He's back and he's bad..

Apparently Scooter of Scooter's Report (no relation to King Jester's Scooter sobriquet for our gravy-chinned, pie-pounding child emperor POTUS) is back on the air.


*sigh*

Now I'll have to read the Blogspot help pages to re-learn how to add his sidebar link back.

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Remembering a Thanksgiving seven years ago..

It seems that our beloved Child Emperor and his main squeeze and guests are pounding down some righteous groceries over there in the White House according to Andrew Malcom in a Hot Air post.

..o.k., o.k., while POTUS and FLOTUS A**holes are pounding down these groceries and he is engaging in his world-renowned sh!t-eating-grin with gravy dripping down his chin, here’s the 4-1-1 on our boys in The ‘Stan.
ADRASKAN NATIONAL TRAINING CENTER, Afghanistan — If he were back home Thursday, Marine Lance Cpl. Chad Berry would have eaten turkey and ham at the home of one of his sets of grandparents in Tennessee. If it was his father’s side of the family, they’d go deer hunting after dinner, then come home and eat some more.
Back home, Pfc. Ysnardy Torres, 21, would be in New York City, visiting family in three boroughs, eating a lot of shredded turkey and his aunt’s flan, a type of custard dessert.

“I’d be going from house to house, getting food,” he said Thursday morning while training Afghan police recruits at the Adraskan National Training Center in western Afghanistan. “It starts in Brooklyn, to the Bronx, to Queens and then back to Brooklyn. I’d be tearing that (expletive) up.”

If he wasn’t deployed here with 14 other Marines, Lance Cpl. Gordon Sherburne would be at his Uncle Wade’s house in Mesick, Mich., chowing down with 50 other members of the Sherburne clan.

“I’d be watching the Dallas Cowboys play — that’s my wife’s team — and eating some green beans with bacon, ham and stuffing,” 19-year-old Lance Cpl. Mark McCart said of his holiday plans were he back in Fountain, Colo. “And just chill.”
Thoughts inevitably turned to home Thursday for these Marines and the thousands of other U.S. troops overseas on such a family-focused holiday. It’s a day for which it’s difficult to be away.

“It’s even harder than Christmas,” said Berry, 21, of Dunlap, Tenn.
“It (expletive) sucks,” Torres said of holidays far from home, adding that the Internet only makes him realize the good times his loved ones are having back home. “I don’t even go on my Facebook.”

Despite all of the criticism of Bush during his time in office, I don’t think anyone could fault him for his regard for the troops and his surprise visit to them one Thanksgiving.



God bless those brave young men and women and God DAMN their CINC to Hell.

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TSA Gimmick..


..picture put up as a response to this Hot Air post. I hope this didn't ruin anyone's Thanksgiving dinner.

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Thanksgiving wishes..

Some harbingers of holiday disasters notwithstanding, this is the festive remembrance when the pilgrims and the injuns buried the hatchet ((so to speak) and John Smith and Priscilla and Squanto and Pocahontas and the crowd sat down to hog up on the grunts in celebration of their bounty.




These impertinent videos aside and the prospect of some dysfunctional gathering where your unhinged uncle helps himself to too much of the sherry on offer, breaks wind incessantly, and gets into a screaming match with the obligatory home-from-college visitors who [still] believe Obama is the messiah, here's wishing you and yours out there a bounteous and happy Thanksgiving.

Enjoy it, because the next time you do this, you'll have bankrupted yourself getting a tree and presents and grown hoarse from singing all of those treacly carols.

..today, you just east and watch football.

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November 24, 2010

Clandestine post to LL..

Lima,,Lima Actual this is Whiskey Papa One Niner..book ordered from Amazon..two actually. One goes to libtard brother in November Hotel who, now and then, likes a good thriller.

Will advise upon MMC.

WP19..out!

More TSA humor..

Bumper stickers from Detective Tom, my high school classmate:


UPDATE: And the hits just keep on comin'..



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November 23, 2010

Don't blog angry..

Sometimes I get wrapped a little too tight. This TSA thing has -- you'll excuse the expression -- my shorts in a knot and I need to unwind. As usual, Woodsterman provides some much-needed comic relief on this matter:


I recommend visiting here for his other humor on offer.

UPDATE: On the subject of preserving sanity, many know that Odie was down here in SoCal last week returning home to Northern California Friday. From recent posts, it seems Odie puts all of his time to good use, probably spotting the truck below on his way back:


Way to go, Woodsterman! You don't miss a trick..er.truck!


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November 22, 2010

..so, blood not boiling yet?

This is getting to be a regular feature -- kind of like Odie's Walmart feature. Here's the latest in the compendium of TSA outrages:


From the collected audio excerpts -- especially the scenes where they are starting to search bus passengers -- seems like this heavy-handed government intrusion is exceeding the tenets of decency. At some point, the Israeli interview process has got to be better than this.

Look, I will be taking Mrs War planner to the airport at least twice next year for trips to her native Japan. I just hope that I can control myself if/when one of these goons singles her out for a grope.

And you can forget the "Bush started this" crap. We never had to put up with this bullsh*t when "W" was POTUS. This is symptomatic of an administration that is tone-deaf and clearly out of control.

FIGHT BACK UPDATE: Ideas continue to stream in from all over the internet and I want to give credit where credit is due. Guardians of old people traveling should have them wear Depends and parent with kids wearing diapers should do what kevinbaja, posting on an ABC blog, suggests:


In case you can't read it, he suggests letting the elderly and the kids go through the TSA checkpoints "fully loaded". That's be a real treat for the TSA goons having to fondle a pantload of scatological C-4.

Like the Joker once said, "Wait'll they get a load of me!"

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November 21, 2010

Just when you think you've seen enough..

..about this TSA "scope-or-grope" fiasco, comes this video of the gate goos and a 12-year-old boy:


About the only thing that would make this more absurd is to have some Mooz-lem towel-heads being sailed through the gates unimpeded. But, just you wait, that video will be coming any day now.

In fact, that would be rich counterpoint to the hand-up-the-nun's-nightdress shots we're getting now. If the TSA folks don't want to profile obvious candidates for C-4 cartage, then perhaps the traveling citizenry -- armed with cell phone cameras -- should point out these people.

After all, that is what this is all about, right? I mean, The Child Emperor and his clown thugs want us to become inured of these invasions to such an extent that we will all submit with docility in banks, malls, or political rallies or demonstrations..

..wherever free people assemble.

BROKEN RECORD TIME: Now, NOvember 2012 cannot come soon enough for me!

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November 19, 2010

Banquo's Ghost

(I warned that this would return..)


From before election day until now, George W. Bush has been visiting -- no haunting -- media venues in an effort to promote his book, Decision Points, to the public. As counterpoint to the marvelous results of NOvember 2nd, it has been delicious kabuki to watch.

Put plainly, Mr Bush no longer is beholden to those who viciously savaged him while he was president. While there is some capitalistic imperative for him to appear with these cretins as they are the keeper of the keys to exposure that translates into Amazon sales and boosted book ratings, it is he who is the hot ticket, the big act in town, the top of the A list. And, any casual student of these interviews will tell you that he has gotten the measure of those who -- for the most part -- took pleasure in savaging him in his latter years as POTUS.

"W" has made the most of his time out of the spotlight. Like a pummeled Rocky, he repaired to his ranch at Crawford, Texas, returned to the basics, became more nimble, developed a piercing jab, and set about dismembering these lead-footed adversaries with disarming candor and genuineness that had them off their guard, ripe for that sharp right hand.

On Oprah, the on-again-off-again pudgy hostess tossed off a remark to the effect that she hadn't seen him in a while to which President Bush replied, "Yeah, where ya been?"

It went like that with most interviews and, of course, he received the royal treatment over at FNC. Hannity was uncharacteristically silent -- no interruptions to spew bullet-points  -- and Greta Van Sustern was typically absolutely respectful during her time with him. O'Reilly -- well -- O'Reilly didn't change. Stuff to the effect of "So, Mr Presdent, what did you think of my coverage of you during your presidency? I was terrific, wasn't I? Excuse me while I kiss my image in the mirror over there."

But in the enemy camps, Bush's genuineness more than carried the day. He danced a very elaborate tango with Matt Lauer on the Today show that left Lauer searching the phone book for a few Arthur Murray lessons. The net effect was that Lauer tried to stick it to Bush on the flyover of Katrina and subsequent Kanye West quote. Lauer ended up getting wrapped around the axle with West in a subsequent interview.

Bush had written that it was a low point in his presidency when West declared that "George Bush doesn't care about black people." But in an interview with Lauer taped Tuesday, West said that he spoke in a moment of frustration.

"I didn't have the grounds to call him a racist," West said. "I believe that in a situation of high emotion like that we as human beings don't always choose the right words."

Shown a tape of West's remarks, Bush said he appreciated them and forgave him.

"I'm not a hater," he said. "I don't hate Kanye West. I was talking about an environment in which people were willing to say things that hurt. Nobody wants to be called a racist if in your heart you believe in equality of races."

In a blooper reminiscent of his famed mispronunciation of "nuc-u-lar" — or perhaps a subtle dig — Bush twice referred to West as "Conway."

There was also another memorable West meltdown: He tweeted Tuesday about feeling "very used" by the interview and said Lauer "tried to force my answers. I came there with only positive intent." NBC is airing a longer West interview on Thursday, and wouldn't comment directly on West's tweets.

Others, like Leno ("Thanks for all of the material") fared better because -- well -- they just relaxed and enjoyed "W" as a guest.

But, as Ramirez so ably points out in his cartoon, the real loser was The Real Loser. While George Bush was enjoying his three week return to a now-appreciative public, this clown was doing a post-shellacking whiff tour of Asia and, even as we speak, being driven in his Belchfire V-8 to European meetings where other dignitaries are arriving in their Smart Cars, coolie-drawn rickshaws, and rat-crap powered enviro-mobiles.

Yes, Banquo's ghost has came back to haunt Macbeth again. The Child Emperor must be looking over his shoulder at the specter of his resurgent predecessor. Of course, Bush made a special point of saying he will NOT criticize his successor because "his job is tough enough already". But, in the wake of remarks like that and in light of the flailing that Obama is doing of late, at this feast it is not necessary to point out the turd in the punch bowl.

..one can smell it a mile away.

Yes, Mr President, we DO miss you.

MORE THAN OBLIGATORY EXPRESSION OF GRATITUDE FOR FRIENDS: As recounted on Woodsterman's site, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Odie in person and reacquainting myself with Opie and LL. Just as I have hung with LCR and the long-departed (for Florida) Lipton Tea Bag, the conversation was rich with opinions and ideas and made me feel very lucky that such friendships are to be had.


Because I believe similar joy would be derived were I to have lunch or drinks with many others who stop by this humble outpost in the conservative camp, I am sincerely grateful for the pleasure of getting to know, at least via comments and e-mail, Bunni, Carol (Sheeples), Supi, Ima, Fredd, WMUR, MNR, and the others. I fervently pray that we can convene sometime at a blogger's convention and rob shoulders with the great and near-great.

Oh, and by the way, I am NOT the lovely blond in the picture above.    


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November 18, 2010

Again, Odie-esque in format...

I ain't stealin' hits from a man I just shared about twenty ounces of Beefeaters with. Go to his site for a picture of our gathering. Come back here and read my interminable droning on and on about the soiree..

..or don't.

In the mean time, here's something to cleanse the palatte offered by Lieutenant "Sky" King of the USAFA, fellow Obama lover:

Here's hoping that these are his thoughts in 2012.

..says it all.

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November 17, 2010

I can fix that...Need a spoon? I can fix that!

In the spirit of Odie over at the Woodsterman (with whom I will be having lunch tomorrow) and my thanks to Captain Harris over at Group 7 HQ:

Need a spoon? I can fix that!

Cables falling down behind your desk? I can fix that!

Seat belt broken? I can fix that!

Power plug problems? I can fix that!

Stereo ripped off? I can fix that!

Bookshelf not too steady? I can fix that!

Can't afford a real GPS? I can fix that!

Need an ice chest? I can fix that!

Car manufactured in another country? I can fix that!

Satellite TV go out in the rain? I can fix that!

Coffee pot broken? I can fix that!

Windshield wiper motor burned out? I can fix that!

Exhaust pipe dragging? I can fix that!

Need a diaper?

..well, I could have fixed that. But I must confess I am speechless

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