April 29, 2018

Ever wonder why..

..the caravan of immigrants from Guatemala and Honduras aren't asking Mexico for asylum? Maybe this will provide a clue:

Also, there's this idea for signs we can post along the wall:

Just Plain Fred..

Meet Fred Johnson
An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

April 22, 2018


April 16, 2018


A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.

From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors, "she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry..."

Courtesy Weasel Zippers Commentor.

April 13, 2018

Less and less fear and loathing of the Blue Wave..

Many think the "Blue Wave" -- if it eventuates -- will be tragic if only because this witch will have her hands on the controls. But I am slowly (and reluctantly) coming to the opinion that it might be a blessing in disguise that this comes to pass. The resulting congressional shit-show of Dems trying to overturn the new tax law, attempting to impeach Trump, and their general nigger-in-a-whorehouse-with-a-credit-card escapades will probably cement the 2020 election for Donald Trump.

Hell, the resulting confusion might result in a states' constitutional convention whereby the 22nd Amendment is overturned and Trump is appointed President for Life.

The denture-licking and spaz speech spells alone (above) will be worth the price of admission. And this does not even take into account the other wackjobs -- like Maxi-Pad -- on the Dem side! Stir in the unfettered mewlings of Lieawatha and Schmuckie Schumer in the Senate and the American public will be so sick of them by the time the 2020 elections roll around that they will be voted out of existence in the House and the Senate!

I am going long on Orville Reddenbacher and Pabst in 2019.

April 12, 2018

Wasting away in Burritoville..

So the homeless situation in Jerry "Dickhead" Brown's Crapifornia is getting so serious that they are going to give taxpayer money to homeowners to build facilities on their own property. What a splendid fucking idea!

Trouble is that it will not solve the problem. Free shit only draws more flies! Tried to give them the boot back in February but they're still there.

So here's the deal: you reduce all your holdings to cash, store it away, hit the road and end up homeless and on the streets in Anaheim, California along the Santa Ana River Trail. The churches and the do-good homeowners ("what would Jesus do?") bring them down free food every day and the city and county set up shower facilities two-three times per week. So, for basically zero outlay for subsistence and shelter, you get a river front site in a balmy climate, catering, and free cleanliness (if you want it). The only money you spend is for the drugs so you can get stoned and stay high while wasting away in Burritoville.

The churches -- tax free property, etc. -- should start setting up facilities ON THEIR LAND and the do-good homeowners should invite a couple of these derelicts to room with them for a while.

What would Jesus do, indeed?

(Sorry to be uncharitable, but if this were Grapes of Wrath and these folks were looking for work, I would be a little more sympathetic.)

Keep this up and you will see a never-ending flotilla of dead fetuses heading down the Santa Ana River to the sea!

April 10, 2018

April 9, 2018

Time to remember some basics of the 2016 election..

Over at The Conservative Tree House, a chilling speech by Donald J. Trump made on October 13th, 2016 recalls what we were facing and the ugliness and sinister forces we still face. It should be a rallying cry for every moment of these four years and for (hopefully) the subsequent four years. These people want you lulled into complacency and inaction. Donald Trump NEEDS you to remain in the fight to keep the government of this country of the people, for the people, and by the people.

Our movement is about replacing a failed and corrupt political establishment with a new government controlled by you, the American People. There is nothing the political establishment will not do, and no lie they will not tell, to hold on to their prestige and power at your expense.

The Washington establishment, and the financial and media corporations that fund it, exists for only one reason: to protect and enrich itself.

The establishment has trillions of dollars at stake in this election. As an example, just one single trade deal they’d like to pass, involves trillions of dollars controlled by many countries, corporations and lobbyists.

For those who control the levers of power in Washington, and for the global special interests they partner with, our campaign represents an existential threat.

This is not simply another 4-year election. This is a crossroads in the history of our civilization that will determine whether or not We The People reclaim control over our government.

The political establishment that is trying everything to stop us, is the same group responsible for our disastrous trade deals, massive illegal immigration, and economic and foreign policies that have bled this country dry. The political establishment has brought about the destruction of our factories and our jobs, as they flee to Mexico, China and other countries throughout the world. Our just-announced jobs numbers are anemic, and our gross domestic product, or GDP, is barely above one percent. Workers in the United States, were making less than they were almost 20 years ago – and yet they are working harder.

It’s a global power structure that is responsible for the economic decisions that have robbed our working class, stripped our country of its wealth, and put that money into the pockets of a handful of large corporations and political entities.

Just look at what this corrupt establishment has done to our cities like Detroit and Flint, Michigan – and rural towns in Pennsylvania, Ohio, North Carolina and across our country. They have stripped these towns bare, and raided the wealth for themselves and taken away their jobs.

The Clinton Machine is at the center of this power structure. We’ve seen this firsthand in the WikiLeaks documents in which Hillary Clinton meets in secret with international banks to plot the destruction of U.S. sovereignty in order to enrich these global financial powers.

And, likewise, the emails show that the Clinton Machine is so closely and irrevocably tied to media organizations that she is given the questions and answers in advance of her debates. Clinton is also given approval and veto power over quotes written about her in the New York Times. And the emails show the reporters collaborate and conspire directly with the Clinton Campaign on helping her win the election.

With their control over our government at stake, with trillions of dollars on the line, the Clinton Machine is determined to achieve the destruction of our campaign, which has now become a movement the likes of which our country has never seen before – and we won’t let them do that.

The most powerful weapon deployed by the Clintons is the corporate media. Let’s be clear on one thing: the corporate media in our country is no longer involved in journalism. They are a political special interest, no different than any lobbyist or other financial entity with an agenda. And their agenda is to elect the Clintons at any cost, at any price, no matter how many lives they destroy.

press we can actualFor them, it is a war – and for them, nothing is out of bounds.

This is a struggle for the survival of our nation. This election will determine whether we are a free nation, or whether we have only the illusion of Democracy but are in fact controlled by a small handful of global special interests rigging the system.

This is not just conspiracy but reality, and you and I know it.

The establishment and their media enablers wield control over this nation through means that are well known. Anyone who challenges their control is deemed a sexist, a racist, a xenophobe and morally deformed. They will attack you, they will slander you, they will seek to destroy your career and reputation. And they will lie, lie and lie even more.

The Clintons are criminals. This is well-documented, and the establishment that protects them has engaged in a massive cover-up of widespread criminal activity at the State Department and Clinton Foundation in order to keep the Clintons in power. Never in history have we seen such a cover-up as this, one that includes the destruction of 33,000 emails, 13 phones, laptops, missing boxes of evidence, and on and on.

People who are capable of such crimes against our nation are capable of anything.

[…] But I take all of these slings and arrows for you. I take them for our movement, so that we can have our country back. Our great civilization, here in America and across the civilized world, has come upon a moment of reckoning.

We’ve seen it in the United Kingdom, where they voted to liberate themselves from global government and global trade deals and global immigration deals that have destroyed their sovereignty.

But the central base of world political power is here in America, and it is our corrupt political establishment that is the greatest power behind the efforts at radical globalization and the disenfranchisement of working people.

Their financial resources are unlimited. Their political resources are unlimited. Their media resources are unlimited. And, most importantly, the depths of their immorality is unlimited.

Our political establishment has no soul. I knew these false attacks would come. I knew this day would arrive. And I knew the American people would rise above it and vote for the future they deserve.

The only thing that can stop the Corrupt Clinton Machine is you. The only force strong enough to save this country is you. The only people brave enough to vote out this corrupt establishment is you, the American People.

They control the Department of Justice, and they even clandestinely meet with the Attorney General of the United States – in the back of her airplane, while on the runway – for 39 minutes – to most likely discuss her reappointment in a Clinton Administration just prior to the Attorney General making a decision over whether or not to prosecute Hillary Clinton.

Likewise, they have corrupted the Director of the FBI to the point at which stories are already saying the great men and women who work for the FBI are embarrassed and ashamed to what he’s done to one of our great institutions. Hillary Clinton is guilty of all of the things that Director Comey stated at his press conference and Congressional hearings, and far more – and yet he let her off the hook, while others lives are being destroyed for far less.

This is a conspiracy against you, the American people.

This is our moment of reckoning as a society and as a civilization.

I didn’t need to do this. I built a great company, and I had a wonderful life. I could have enjoyed the benefits of years of successful business for myself and my family, instead of going through this absolute horror show of lies, deceptions and malicious attacks. I’m doing it because this country has given me so much, and I feel strongly it was my turn to give back.

Some people warned me this campaign would be a journey to hell. But they are wrong, it will be a journey to heaven because we will help so many people.

In my former life, I was an insider as much as anybody else – and I know what’s like to be an insider. Now I am being punished for leaving their special club and revealing to you their great scam. Because I used to be part of the club, I’m the only one who can fix it. I’m doing this for the people, and this movement is just right – and we will take back this country for you and Make America Great Again.

The corrupt establishment knows that we are an existential threat to their criminal enterprise. They know, that if we win, their power is gone and returned to you. The clouds hanging over our government can be lifted, and replaced with a bright future – but it all depends on whether we let the New York Times decide our future, or whether we let the American people decide our future.

If this Clinton Campaign of Destruction is allowed to work, then no other highly successful person – which is what our country needs – will ever again run for this office.

I will not lie to you. These false attacks hurt. To be lied about, to be slandered, to be smeared so publicly and before your family, is painful.

What the Clinton Machine is doing to me, and my family, is egregious beyond words. It is reprehensible beyond description.

But I also know, it’s not about me – it’s about all of you. It’s about all of us, together, as a country.

It’s about the Veterans who need medical care, the mothers who’ve lost children to terrorism and crime, it’s about the inner cities and the border towns who desperately need our help, it’s about the millions of jobless Americans. This election is about the people being crushed by Obamacare, and it’s about defeating ISIS and appointing Supreme Court Justices who will defend our Constitution.

This election is also about the African-American and Hispanic communities whose communities have been plunged into crime, poverty and failing schools by the policies of Hillary Clinton. They’ve robbed these citizens of their future, and I will give them their hope, jobs and opportunities back. I will deliver.

This election is about every man, woman and child in our country who deserves to live in safety, prosperity and peace.

We will rise above the lies, the smears, and the ludicrous slanders from ludicrous reporters.

We will vote for the country we want.

We will vote for the future we want.

We will vote for the politics we want.

We will vote to put this corrupt government cartel out of business. We will remove from our politics the special interests who have betrayed our workers, our borders, our freedoms, and our sovereign rights as a nation. We will end the politics of profit, we will end the rule of special interests, we will put a stop to the raiding of our country – and the disenfranchisement of our people.

Our Independence Day is at hand, and it arrives, finally, on November 8th. Join me in taking back our country, and creating a bright and glorious new dawn for our people.

Reducto ad Absurdum..

Over the weekend, the Fuzzy Wuzzy Wog Mayor of London proclaimed that anyone caught with a knife would have their head cut off or something.

..which is a crock of shit because of its absurdity. I mean, what's next? Box cutters? Or these?

..or, how about a good old case of closing the barn door after the horses have escaped? You know, when one of his wog countrymen decided to murder a British soldier with a meat cleaver?

Too bad Paul Hogan is old and decrepit and being sued to poverty by Australia and the bitch he married.

April 6, 2018

Friday Woodsterman Images..

..only an imitator; never will surpass.

April 5, 2018

Everyman and the rights of the majority..

A tour de force by two citizens of North Carolina and the United States on the subject of "..shall not be infringed.."

It cannot be spoken any more clearly than these two fine gentlemen -- both articulate in their own special way -- so I shall keep my mouth shut and listen! God bless them both!

April 4, 2018

Hold onto your wallets..

The crazy SF bag lady is at is again and she doesn't know when the fuck to shut up! (Courtesy NTK Network via Weasel Zippers.)

Wow! The gift that keeps on giving! She is certifiable.

..and it is rumored that she wants to adopt a new symbol for the Democrat Party.