June 8, 2010

Ya feelin' lucky punk?

From a piece by Allahpundit over at Hot Air, it seems that Our POSOTUS is feelin' kinda ornery and' lookin' for some ass to kick:

Full POTUS quote: “I was down there a month ago, before most of these talkin’ heads were even paying attention to the gulf. A month ago I was meeting with fishermen down there, standin’ in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this could be. And I don’t sit around just talking to experts because this is a college seminar, we talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick.

As I recover from the out-and-out malevolence of this statement, the sheer brutality of this man's mutterings, I realize that we now have a Dirty Harry on our hands. A tough, man of action, a leader who, through flinty squinty-eyed resolve, is surveying the scene, concocting violent consequences for the offending perps.

Know ye therefore, that he and his crack staff aren't just sittin' back there, linin' up faded rock stars and celebrities to boogey with and shootin' hoops out back of the POSOTUS's crib, they're actually plotting an ass-kicking session. (My guess is that they -- in a real testosterone orgy -- spirited Obama in some back room in the White House, shirtless, pounding down brews, playing beer-pong with his staffers, figuring whose asses to kick.)

One wonders if Steven Chu has produced an analysis of the potential asses available. I mean he is a a Nobel sucking wunderkind. I know Rahm Emanual might have such a list, but I don't think hitting folks posteriors with a dead fish really counts as kicking ass -- although that might explain why Emanuel and other staffers spent a lot of time in steam rooms and bath houses. Probably surveying targets of opportunity.

Maybe the Pentagon will develop a target list for him.

At first, I thought with this post, I could provide him with a sample -- a gallery of derrieres, if you will -- but my internet searches were fruitless. Well, actually, they were fruitful but not fit for a mostly old-guy and family type of blog. I mean, afterward,  had I not clear my cached sites would hav eprovided the newly-returned Mrs War Planner with ample grounds for a previously-described knee-capping.

So that angle was out, although I did run across this site devoted to women with really large posteriors. II'm guessing taht, for a guy who is at as bad at the unguarded jumper as Obama is, he would want a really big target to aim at when it came time to actually do the kicking.

Somehow, however, I do not believe that a broad-beamed ingenue-model-show-girl-of-the-evening can be blamed for the Gulf oil spill, Sestak, the GOP pushback on health care, Crap and Trade, etc.

Finally, frustratred, I guess that what our Dirty Barry really means is that he'll want to bash the bums of people assiciated with asses and who better than Democrats. (Elephants ain't donkeys.) He probablhy means there's some rough trsde to be dealt out on folks like Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi and that crowd. But that's as close as I can get.

I'll leave it there for the moment: Obama with his Dirty Harry moment, in quest of assailable posteriors, lookin' tough and ready to rumble. Although, I just kinda wish he'd lose that effeminate sibilant lisp, don't you? I mean how serious does one sound saying something like, "..looking to kick sssssssomeone'ssssss asssssss."

"Who's we, ssssssssuckaaah?"

"Why, me an' SSSSSSSSMith and Wessssssssson. Tha'sssssss who!"

Hey, Barack Babes, I can recommend a good dentist who'll fix up those annoying whistlin' teeth for next to nothin'.


  1. As your barrack lawyer, I urge you to dispense with such terms as ‘crack staff,’ as it might land you in one of our thousands of federal courts and mediation centers. Instead, use non-gender specific words, such as competent, erudite, or scholarly. Don’t thank me; I’m billing you.

  2. ..noted and corrections made.

    I will be expecting your bill and will be recompensing you with my I.O.U. which is -- as W.C. Fields once described his -- "worth it's weight in gold."

    By the way, if you ever get out to SoCal, I can use your assistance in helping the Good Lance Corporal reacquire some squaring-away traits he picked up in boot camp and has sadly mislaid somewhere between SOI graduations and completion of 2171 school.

    USAF Captain's bars (as old as mine are) do not seem to engender the fear that a USMC mustang's brass (or former stripes) might.


  3. I always feel I must apologize for this. Welcome to the dark side of Woodsterman's sidebar. I enjoy it here, and I think my nut job followers will too. And again ... I'm sorry.

  4. Obummer can't hold a candle to Dirty Harry.
    I'd love to see them square off in a dark alley!
    Bammy would leave a "golden pantload" for sure...hee hee.

    PS: I've added you to my esteemed blogroll, War Planner