August 22, 2016

Clintoon Campaign Shift?

So, here's the deal. No, really, the deal deal as my beloved smarter-than-most-people-in-the-room-Dem-ex-lawmaker-from-NH would say.* Since late June you've been appearing before pathetic crowds of barely over 1,000 while your opponent has been rolling attendances at his soirees of 5,000 to 25,000 wildly screaming and lively folks who represent a viable cross-section of the electorate including white, women, blacks, and Hispanics,

And it is dawning on you that maybe what they are saying your crowds are reflective of the fact that you are widely disliked and trusted even less. Of course, the NYT never fails to bash Trump in the article published written by them back of May 16, 2015 but that's par for the course. One wonders if anything like that will see the light of day now that they are in the tank for Frau Colostomy Bag.

But I digress. After a disastrous series of appearances post-DNC-convention, it hits her and her staff that people generally have better things to do than turn out for her rallies. You know, like cleaning out the septic tank or shoveling the shit out of their horse stables or the like. Also, you realize that Clintoon cannot do stand-up for more than 20 minutes at any of these gigs, has to be bolstered by pillows, have a stool present (not what you're thinking), and has to have Mr Syringe, the Diazepam guy, nearby to talk her down from her petit mol episodes and slam her with some wake-up joy juice as soon as she vapor locks or goes off the rails.

So, what to do?

I got it! How about cancel the rest of her appearances until election day and hold fundraisers instead? Good solution. Avoid the embarrassing low-yield crowds, attend a cushy event where you have others speak and you can rest your voluminous posterior on pillows, sip Chablis and only have to get up to change out your colostomy bag.

Yeah, that'll work!

*Don't misconstrue this, Brother-of-War-Planner is a smart guy. He just bats for the other team.

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