August 12, 2019

Dick Rat Derby: thinning the herd..


Dick Rat Derby
It seems that the Dems ("Dick Rats") are in love with th 20-candidate format and are willing to foist off almost two dozen certified loons off on the American public in an orgiastic frenzy of "me too-isms" and "Price-Is-Right" give-aways of our tax money.

Well, the public is tiring of this and there are rumblings of when the field will be pared to a manageable number. (For me, that would be zero; let's shoot them all, stuff them in a landfill, and just let Trump get on with his inevitable second term.) Nonetheless, there is a set of criteria to winnow out the more annoying of these flies and mosquitoes and make them disappear from the debates and, hence, the race, or more importantly from our iPads, TV sets, and the media in general. These criteria for the next two rounds of debates are:


So I went over to a poll page to gather data and to see who stays and who gets the hook. And here are -- according to the FiveThirtyEight page -- where they all stand. Cick on the image to embiggen if you notice that your eyes are leaking blood.

Top Dick Rats

Most likely stickers are in red; faders are in green.

Bottom Dick Rats

The clowns in the lower half will most likely ALL be shoveled onto the shit heap with the most welcome discards being the terminally tone deaf Kirsten Jelly-Brand, Hickenlooper (if only for the name), and DeBlabbio (if only for the reason he's DeBlabbio and I want to see him eaten alive by his non-loving New York constituents.)

Disclaimer: Just ginning this up for "what see" reasons. I sadden at the prospect of Tulsi The Grabber dropping down the chute. I wanted to see her stay in the race if only to give Kamelnoze Hairyass a severe frightening.

I mean, Hairyass sat on the debate stage in the limelight cut to the quick and bleeding out as the result of a six-sentence, partially-true tirade from a Hawaiian back-bencher. She barely uttered anything in her defense except to bleat out a Ralph Kramden-esque Chef-of-the-Future "homina homina homina it core a apple".


If she performs like that against Single-A minor league pitching how will she do when Donald Trump brings the heat in September and October 2020? I mean, we're talking aspirin-tablet fastballs, baby, and she has a whole shit pot full of wacky flip-flops to defend.

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