Hack Job

From Weasel Zippers' Bruntdog:

A woman is caught speeding on the freeway, and is pulled over by a traffic cop. He says "Ma'am, you were going 85 miles per hour, can I see your driver's license?" "I don't have one," says the woman, "it was revoked for reckless driving."

"I see," says the policeman. "Then will you please show me your vehicle registration?" "I don't have that either because the car's not
mine," says the woman.

"Whose car is it, then?" asks the policeman. She answers, "It belongs to the man I killed this morning and chopped up in pieces, put in plastic bags, and loaded into the trunk. I was just going to dispose of him."

The policeman, shocked, says, "You just stay where you are, I'm calling reinforcements." Soon the captain comes, and asks the woman, "License please?" The woman, politely, says, "Certainly, here it is," and hands over her license. "Can I see the car's registration, please?" asks the captain, and the woman says, "Certainly," and hands it over to him.

He then asks, "Would you mind if I looked in your trunk?" "Not at all," says the woman, and pops the trunk. He looks in and it's empty.

"Excuse me," says the captain, "but my officer her told me you had no license, no vehicle registration, and that you had stolen the car, killed its owner, cut him into pieces and loaded him in your trunk!"

The woman answered, "Really? I bet the damn liar said I was speeding, too!"

..enjoy the day!