Funny Shit!

Fuzzy but funny.

Rockin' Robin..

..tangential to the theme of this Paul Mirengoff's post above, I posit that there is the phenomenon of hearing and not being unable to "unhear" bad songs, musical numbers, instrumentals, etc. Several loom large in my throbbing brain:

(1) Rocking Robin, that I so desperately despise, I began wondering when the last time I would hear it in my lifetime would be. Then, with old age and the persistence of the song as an "moldy oldy", I realized that this sentiment might be "unthought" as would be in my last days in a hospital or hospice care facility being tended to by a comely but rude, gum-snapping millennial (or whatever they would be in those days) who would have that as a her favorite tune.) I would fade into eternity with that song marking my departure, tinkling in my ears.

(2) Shotgun by Junior Walker and the All Stars. I despised that tune in the Spring of '65 when I was a freshman at UCLA. Our fraternity cook -- a large colored lady from Watts named Florida Taylor (who later turned out to be a Reagan Republican) played that constantly much to my dismay at first. But while serving kitchen duty as a pledge, her inner-city patois, sheer joy of life, and the incessant playing of that over KHJ-AM, the rock hits outlet in L.A., I started to like it until now it is a fond reminder of my carefree, beer-bust-attending misspent youth!



(3) Same for Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees, Like many, I despised Disco with a blind rage until, by sheer repetition and the Airplane! playing of a co-famous disco song of theirs in the Drambuie bar scene, I relented.



(4) What's New, Pussycat? by Tom Jones. Love the story about the two Gen X-ers who went into a diner and slammed a bag of quarters into the jukebox and lined up seemingly endless reps of this smarmy beaut. They punctuated it with one of Jones' other treacly hits only to return to the original song..

..until the manager came out of the kitchen and jerked the power cord from the jukebox -- to a standing "O" from the patrons.

Well, there's 10 minutes of your life you'll never get back!

Nadler Eructs on Eve of Trial

It seems that we are all teed up and ready to go for Tuesday's "Peach 45 Shit Show Part Deux -- The Trial" and our old bud, Jerry "Cold Cut Combo" Nadler is speciously out-gassing about how Trump was a Blue Meanie to all of us.

Democrat Rep. Jerry Nadler is still actively pushing the debunked Russia collusion hoax to try to justify the Democrats' impeachment.

But making baseless accusations to justify sham investigations has never been a problem for Pelosi, Schiff, and Nadler. pic.twitter.com/3Roq6AYsQ8

— Tommy Pigott (@TCPigott) January 19, 2020

We dutifully roll our eyes and click our tongues but, you see, here's the deal: he is one of the "House Managers" in the upcoming impeachment trial. This presumably means that this asshole along with six other assholes and asshole-ettes will be standing up in the well of the Senate, exuding verbal diarrhea like this.

Now, before the cynics here start the boos and catcalls, while all most the dems will absorb this aural Hershey Squirting and nod placidly, MOST of the [R]s will not. (I'm looking at you, Willard and Murky-kowski!)

Any way you slice it, the vote totals run far short of 67 to convict. Those wanting a quick dismissal should abuse themselves of this fact: the quicker this is dealt with, the more the Dems can make the case that "the Republicans are in this with Trump and Ruskies", etc.

You WANT all this crap to come out -- with the Senate giving every evidence of a fair and impartial hearing -- because the Dem diarrhea will turn off the American public like it did during the House phase. The three-corner bank shot in the deal is that the longer they are allowed to carry on, the more Warren and Sanders have to sit with their assholes Super Glued™ to their seats and unable to campaign.

Added into the bargain is the fact that "Hoover" Hunter and "Sloe Joe" Biden will be called on as witnesses UNDER OATH to spill their guts as well.

Thus all major POTUS candidates are stained and tainted -- except for Homeaux Boi, Ying Yang, Klou-Boo-Char, Tulsi the Grabber, and the other minor luminaries -- including the ex-Midget New York City Mayor.

So, have another sammich, Jerry, you look famished.

I am becoming moist!

Florida Congressman Mast: Put up or shut up!

Florida Republican Rep. Brian Mast (R-Florida 18) is calling out Democrat “cowards” for their reaction to the killing of Iranian terror-master Qasem Soleimani.

Last week on the House floor, Mast discussed the Democrats resolution that argued that the president didn't have the authority to order the missile strike taking out Soleimani and another top terrorist in Iraq. Mast said about Soleimani:

He was a terrorist....He was the head of a designated terrorist organization no different than ISIS or Al-Qaeda. And he was responsible for the deaths of our men and women.I know most in here haven't seen or smelled or touched that kind of death, but let me tell you about it. They were burned alive inside their Humvees. Their lungs were scorched by the flames of the explosions. The vehicle fragments were blown into their skulls. Some of them were paralyzed. Some of them had their arms blown off. Some of them had their legs blown off. Some of them will never see again. Some of them will never be recognized again by those who knew them previously. Each and every one of them – they are the credible explanation for deleting this terrorist target from our world. And, no doubt, it is dangerous to take out a terrorist target, but a coward is somebody who lacks the courage to endure danger.And this is the fundamental difference in voting yes or no here. If you vote no you understand that we would be justified to kill 100 Soleimanis for just one of our heroes, that have been killed by him. And the danger would be worth it. For those who vote yes, they see that he has killed hundreds of our service members but still can no find the justification to kill him because, unlike our fallen heroes, they lack the courage to endure danger".

Not sitting on his laurels, Congressman Mast lit the Dem assholes up again for their mourning over the drone rocket enema Trump ordered on the Iranian goat-humping general last week.

Wounded vet Rep. Brian Mast (R-FL) asked Democrats to name a single name on the nearby wall of fallen soldiers that doesn't justify killing Iran's terrorist chief Qasem Soleimani.

He then made them sit in the shame of their own silence for minutes. 🔥🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/pNU2olPneY

— The First (@TheFirstonTV) January 14, 2020

Interlude..and aftermath..

Now that it appears that Donald Trump has neutered the Iranian regime by turning their heart throb terrorist general into charred pot roast in the VIP lounge of the Baghdad airport and the wailing and gnashing of teeth, frivolous and fruitless Iranian rocket strikes, Hollywood tweets of sorrow and support for Iran, and like-typed crapola have evaporated in the mists of time, we are left with the fading echoes of yet another opportunity lost by the left to score points.

NOT Soleimani

Sometime in the final seconds of this one-sided bloodbath, a sawdust-headed Arab member of the CNN commentariat with a phony Oxford English accent attempts to do battle with a State Department info babe with disastrous results. CNN Cunt puts in up from half court and..

..air ball!

[We join the interview in progress..]

STATE SPOKESBABE: [Truth, refutation, devaluation of CNN cunt's specious assertions, etc.]

CNN ARAB CUNT WITH PHONY OXFORD ACCENT: ..but..but..but..hang on..[sputter]

STATE SPOKESBABE: [More truth, refutation, devaluation of CNN cunt's specious assertions]

CNN ARAB CUNT WITH PHONY OXFORD ACCENT: [More] ..but..but..but..hang on..[sputter]

STATE SPOKESBABE: [Yet even more truth, refutation, devaluation of CNN cunt's specious assertions]

CNN ARAB CUNT WITH PHONY OXFORD ACCENT: [10 seconds of frustrated silence] ..well we'll leave it there.

*fade to black*

To Adam Schiff and all the butt -hurt..

..who were not "consulted" on the Soleimani hit:

Not a New Year's Resolution..

..I am given to understand that this was NOT a New Year's resolution on his part!

I love the smell of butthurt in the morning..

The cackle by Karli (the tweeter) is absolutely precious!

Omgawd look at the meltdown! Lost my Schiff!😂🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/x03ptaVjWw

— Karli ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Text TRUMP to 88022 (@KarluskaP) January 3, 2020

"..in a way that was quieter; perhaps that was more discreet.."

That's the point, f**kface, let 'em know you're there to chew bubble gum and kick ass..

..and you're all out of bubblegum!