September 10, 2010

Service Day my rosy red buns..

WARNING! R-RATED POST
Written under the influence of Friday evening post-labor libations.

Via Black Five, the This ain't Hell but you can see it from here blog says that instead of burning Korans on 9/11 like that sh!thouse rat crazy pastor wants to do, he wants to commit Hemingway's works to the torch:

"Hey, Fidel, ya wanna smoke my cigar?"
Unfortunately, I don’t own a Koran, ya know because I’m a right wing pro-war ignorant turd. So instead, I’ll be burning Ernest Hemingway’s collection of short stories “The Snows of Kilimanjaro”. I always hated Hemingway anyway – he was a pretentious old fart who couldn’t write his way out of a paper bag. He sold books because of his lifestyle, not because of any particular writing talent. I can’t write any better, but he always pissed me off. Well, “For Whom The Bell Tolls” was pretty good – but it was an anomaly.

And, oh, he liked Cuba better than the US, so ya know, he’s kind of anti-American. He wasn’t a suicide bomber, but he committed suicide and that’s half of the phrase right there. I know his connection to 9-11 is tenuous, but then so are connections of most of the Muslim world to 9-11.

..you know, he might have hit on a splendid idea. We could get a lot of our former suppressed high school rage out if we burned the books that we hated every 9/11. I mean if The Pantload-in-Chief and his leftist stooge administration can dilute that day’s memory by trying to turn it into one of those fairy, feel-good holidays by deeming it as “service day”, then..

(I am semi-serious.)

Except for the unfortunate opportunity it would present to those on the left to conflate those of us on the right to Nazis, I sure would like to torch Eliot’s Middlemarch and *anything* by Thomas Hardy (especially, Return of the Native) that that consummate idiot junior-year English teacher of mine, Mr Fox, jammed down our throats. We might want to include Steinbeck, Willa Cather and equally dreary drek.

Out of respect, anything by Herman Melvile and Rudyard Kipling and any other author whose testicles dropped before they took up writing, will be banned from our book barbecue. But flouncing, Nancy-Boy writers' works go to the head of the line.

O.K., it's a done deal. I’ll go get the matches and the Pabst, you get the marshmallows and graham crackers. We’ll make somemores and get blind roaring drunk and watch Fahrenheit 451 afterward.

-30-

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

And it was hilarious the second time I read it, too!
BooRadley
(I'm with you!)

Amusing Bunni said...

I think calling it a day of service sucks too, TWP!

Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...

Service day is bullshit, what liberal socialist scrap!

As to book burning how a bout 'Dreams from My Father' and 'Audacity of Hope', those would be a great start and add in all the 'Lord of the Rings' by J. R. R. Tolkien.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Sounds like a three Beefeater barbecue you're planning.

The War Planner said...

Estimable comrades, wonderful thoughts all. I thought that idea -- like a kidney stone -- was one that passed last year.

As I wrote over on LCR in a comment, "[The Service Day concept] -- like the fawning obeisance to silly, flouncing-nancy, limp-wristed, leftest drivel like Earth Day (cf. the George Carlan routine), go-along-to-get-along with those dictators who wish us ill, and not keeping score in youth-league soccer -- is abhorrent.

"I count the days until this festering road pie dessicates, dries up, turns into a mountain of horse manure dust, and blows away in a stiff Santa Ana."


I completely forgot about those two mounds of drivel that that idiot penned, Chris and, Odie, you make me hunger and thirst!

Supi said...

TWP You would have loved my mother. Every time the schools forced down crap written by commies, she was in the principal office scorching off his/her ears. I know the schools were glad when I graduated so they wouldn't have see the Battleaxe anymore.

Steve: The Lightning Man said...

This reminded me of an obscure 80's song by an obscure band called The Bolshoi called "Books on the Bonfire" that was in part inspired by F-451.

"They put all the books on the bonfire;
two thousand years in a flame.
Yes, I run like a horse at a fairground;
rewind me & play me again..."

And as for a day of service...well, YOU served enough already, as did I.....