"It was so-o-o-o-o-o wasted..!"

"Anyone out in the audience got a bottle of Kaopectate?"

Left Coast Rebel has come up with a little tidbit on the Decrepit Dictator, Fidel ("I coulda been a Nuevo Yorko Yanqui") Castro decrying the 60 years wasted trying to turn his island paradise. In comments from a dinner conversation with Atlantic's Jeffery Goldberg:

But during the generally lighthearted conversation (we had just spent three hours talking about Iran and the Middle East), I asked him if he believed the Cuban model was still something worth exporting.

"The Cuban model doesn't even work for us anymore," he said.

The real economic impact of this revelation has yet to be felt as dozens of Hollywood actors are now changing their next year's Summer vacation plans, canceling hotel reservations in Havana, and booking stays in Maricaibo.

Sean Penn could not be reached for comment as he still continues his bouts with severe rectal cramps.

This tangential development got the War Planner to do a little research where I uncovered a confidante of Penn's -- an informed White Horse Souse -- who passed along this inside dope. He reported the following to The War Planner:

It seems that Penn fears the almighty may have rained down a 20-megaton dose of Karma on my friend," the insider confided. "He believes by wishing colon cancer on others he may have secured rectal problems upon himself.

Fearing the worst, he went to see a famous doctor in Mississippi who specializes in bowel problems. The doc examined him and prescribed a down home regimen of daily doses of a quart tequila and a jar of jalapeno peppers.

"Will this cure me?' asked Penn of the Doctor.

"No, but it will sure as sh*t teach you what you should be using your a**hole for!" came the home-spun reply.

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