September 8, 2010

"It was so-o-o-o-o-o wasted..!"

"Anyone out in the audience got a bottle of Kaopectate?"
Left Coast Rebel has come up with a little tidbit on the Decrepit Dictator, Fidel ("I coulda been a Nuevo Yorko Yanqui") Castro decrying the 60 years wasted trying to turn his island paradise. In comments from a dinner conversation with Atlantic's Jeffery Goldberg:

But during the generally lighthearted conversation (we had just spent three hours talking about Iran and the Middle East), I asked him if he believed the Cuban model was still something worth exporting.

"The Cuban model doesn't even work for us anymore," he said.

The real economic impact of this revelation has yet to be felt as dozens of Hollywood actors are now changing their next year's Summer vacation plans, canceling hotel reservations in Havana, and booking stays in Maricaibo.

Sean Penn could not be reached for comment as he still continues his bouts with severe rectal cramps.

This tangential development got the War Planner to do a little research where I uncovered a confidante of Penn's -- an informed White Horse Souse -- who passed along this inside dope. He reported the following to The War Planner:

It seems that Penn fears the almighty may have rained down a 20-megaton dose of Karma on my friend," the insider confided. "He believes by wishing colon cancer on others he may have secured rectal problems upon himself.

Fearing the worst, he went to see a famous doctor in Mississippi who specializes in bowel problems. The doc examined him and prescribed a down home regimen of daily doses of a quart tequila and a jar of jalapeno peppers.

"Will this cure me?' asked Penn of the Doctor.

"No, but it will sure as sh*t teach you what you should be using your a**hole for!" came the home-spun reply.

-30-

4 comments:

Opus #6 said...

I imagine Penn will feel that Castro's admission must be a sign of senility. And that the starvation deaths and political murders of Cubans was simply a good start on turning the world back to the animals from the hated human race.

The War Planner said...

Ma'am,

I frankly don't think Penn knows what's going on in the world. I joke about the Karma aspect of this, but it is sometimes ironic how events seem to arise to meet the circumstances.

His pronouncements on his "enemies" contracting colon cancer is just a giant bird-flip to what is hoped will be a very uncompassionate supreme deity.

Left Coast Rebel said...

Well put, like the thought of Penn chugging tequilla and jalapenos nightly....

Trust me, he's stupid enough to do it!

Linked

Anonymous said...

Hey WP - the rectal problems being experienced by our beloved cretin Sean Penn is all from the penile hammering he has been enjoying from that gutless weasel from Fox named "Geraldo"!
Why the Hell Fox allows Liberal-Loving Wankers like Geraldo, "I'm a legend just ask me" O'Reilly and that other total ?rick Juan Williams on the same Channel as True Men of God such as Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity just leaves me bewildered!!