Signs U B in Da Hood..

Don't call me racist just because I post pics of your neighborhood. These be da troof:

..thanks to Rick the Cop!

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Happy Halloweenie..

From Mark:

Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex:

10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6. It's okay if the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you actually are.

5. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. There's a lot less guilt the morning after.

1. You can do the whole neighborhood.

..if you have not decided on a disguise, maybe this song will help out:

 

..hope you get something in your sack!

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President Stool Sample on the mess he's created..

Our beloved Shit for brains H.N.I.C. is out there, operating beyond the pale of all human reason, flapping them blue lips again. This time it's this asshole who's telling the people of this land that they should just eat cake.

Now, if you had one of these substandard plans before the affordable care act became law and you really liked that plan, you were able to keep it. That’s what I said when I was running for office. That was part of the promise we made. But ever since the law was passed, if insurers decided to downgrade or cancel these substandard plans, what we said under the law is, you’ve got to replace them with quality, comprehensive coverage, because that, too, was a central premise of the Affordable Care Act from the very beginning. And today, that promise means that every plan in the marketplace covers a core set of minimum benefits like maternity care and preventative care and prescription drug benefits and hospitalization, and they can’t use allergies or pregnancy or a sports injury or the fact that you’re a woman to charge you more. They can’t do that anymore. They can’t do that anymore. If you couldn’t afford coverage because your child had asthma, well, he’s now covered. If you are one of the 45 million Americans with a mental illness, you’re now covered. If you’re expecting a baby, you’re covered, you’re safer. The system is more secure for you and it’s more secure for everybody. So if you’re getting one of these letters, just shop around in the new marketplace. That what it’s for. Because of the tax credits we’re offering…

Man, it'd be funny if this jackwad wasn't so fucking stupid and wasn't elected a year ago by the dumbest, most retarded mirror fogging mouth-breathers -- at least 45 million of 'em -- since the dawn of time.

Anyway, we're taking requests and this one goes out to all of you from the H.N.I.C..

Sure am looking forward to getting that pap smear and having the breast x-rays I have been denying myself all these years. Same with Mrs War Planner; she finally gets that prostate exam.

..suck on it, proles.

UPDATE: Sky King -- my USAF Auxiliary squadron friend -- sent me something that is a plausible reason why I call our Shit-POTUS President Stool Sample:

Best ever description of ObamaCare!

Remember when Nancy Pelosi  said: “We have to pass it, to find out what’s in  it."

A physician called into a radio show and  said, "That's ptretty much the definition of a stool sample".

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The right to keep and bear bare arms..

..shall not be infringed.

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And, just for grins..

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The Real Truth and The Bleak Future

Among all of the hot gas about the shutdown and President Stool Sample's petulant monument/national park Nazi closings, there's this pitiful little voice of one person who truly and lamentably has come to realize what a tragedy these past four-plus years have meant in economic terms:

 ..one suspects that this realization will seep into others -- far too late for them to do anything about this -- but it will mean that this idiot running the country will leave a bitter memory for a lot of folks.

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Pigeon Shit

From my friend, Sky King:

Vladimir Putin allegedly said off the record:

"Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon. The pigeon knocks over all the pieces, shits on the board and then struts around like it won the game."

..and, no, that's not a picture of Sky King.

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Shut it down!

Government Shutdown

(1) WWII memorial closing had more preparation and forethought than the ObamaCare roll-out.

(2) With 9 armed NPS guards and one forklift WWII memorial closing had two more guards and one more piece of equipment that the Benghazi embassy had.

(3) ..more to come..

I am thinking that the WWII vets are tougher than this, don't you?

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Time on your hands?

Here's a worthwhile investment of twenty minutes of your time:

"Z" is a guy who I would love to sit down with and have a few beers. Hell, I'd buy!

I came to this by way of the L. A. Times story about how the Democrats pushed for the Civil Rights laws in the sixties (emphasis added):

Former presidents George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush could not attend for health reasons, their spokesmen said. The elder Bush, who at 89 uses a wheelchair, rarely attends public events. His son, the 43rd president, is still recovering from a recent heart procedure, his spokesman said,

The absence of even a gesture of bipartisanship was a reminder of the enduring political legacy of the civil rights battles. Since Democrats led the passage of civil rights legislation that marchers pushed for in 1963, Republicans have struggled to recover with black voters, leaving a stark racial divide in American politics.

Or course, it's a blatant rewrite of history the actual blowback by conservative bloggers, media, and the general public has been quick to correct these misstatements.

Still in all, the bullshit that the left gets away with..

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Hat trick for Rick..

..third little tidbit from Rick, the Cop.

"Better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool rather than open it and remove all doubt."

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"..stuff a sock in it, Moooz-lems.."

I love this guy!

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Rick, the Cop II..

He strikes again. This time with a feature he calls..

Prom Night at Camden High School

By special arrangement, direct from beautiful downtown Camden, New Jersey, we present a rotogravurian festival. Sit back and enjoy.

Note the broad community support in the form of numerous police vehicles and an ambulance!

Prom dresses sure have changed since I was in high school!

What is that around her neck?

More police in the background..er..more community support I meant.

Somewhere in the 'hood, there is a Buick with missing seat covers. Know what ah'm sayin'?

Wonder if Boy George knows where his hat is?

What's holding those up?

No comment!

..er..have a SlimFast?

..have three SlimFasts!

Double yikes!!

Who let him in?

Have a case of SlimFasts!

Black 'n Blue Thunder?

..like the caption said.

 ..and if anybody out there gets in a snit and starts thinking I am a racist, remember two things:

(1) I did not forces the these folks' wardrobe choices upon them and..

(2) ..somewhere there is an appalling collection of redneck grads decked out in separate but equal sartorial splendor.

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Rick, the cop..

Rick the cop is at is again; he sent me these little tidbits this morning. Enjoy:

The wife's back on the warpath again. Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

After both suffering from depression for awhile, the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, screw it, I'll soldier on!

I woke up this morning at 8 and just felt that something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!". As I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

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Eating gummint cheese..

Ripped off from a Buzzfeed post entitled:

42 People You Won’t Believe Actually Exist

These people are really out there somewhere in this world.

Here's one of the real charmers:

Note the "Cheezit" crackers in the sack behind here. I am guessing this is what one calls a jones, eh?

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Just when I though I was out, they pull me back in..

Well, it seems that this is gonna be harder t shake that originally thought. Or, as Al Pacinco said in Godfather III:

What did it for me was this out-of-the-park round-tripper from the folks at Crossroard GPS and posted in the Hot Air Green Room:

..ain't life grand? Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta nuke some popcorn and get back to my Barcalounger.

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I escaped (again), don't pay the ransom..

Developing zero interest in politics these days what with the commie Dems and the limp-membered GOP being two sides of the same rusty, old coin. But thought I'd drop in and pass along this from my bud, Policeman Rick:

The caption is:

Advice for women buying a bicycle: When purchasing a bicycle, no matter how cute you are, be SURE to consider the color of the seat!

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A Tale of two druggies..

This from my good friend 1LT Cappy Robertson, some perspective on the Tour de France and Lance Armstrong:

"I  think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has 
treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 
seven Tour de France races while on drugs. 
 
When  I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike." 
 
-Willie Nelson

To which I remarked:

"..at last, some humor on this subject. One wearies of those 
self-righteous, smug types with their sphincters puckered down to 
f/16 at the mention of drugs and the tour. As a former USCF Cat 
III racer, I gotta tell you that even at THAT amateur level, 
folks were doing P. E. drugs and stuff just to win primes such as 
$4 tires and $2 water bottles. 
 
Don't condone what Armstrong did and cannot tolerate his 
prevarication, but what really chafes is that his final downfall 
was brought on by a U. S. governmental agency adjudicating one's 
involvement in a foreign activity. Talk about governmental, 
nanny-state over-reach. 

Solution: turn professional bicycle racing into a free-market 
affair. Essentially allow 163 little chemistry experiments loose 
on the roads and hills of France for the month of July. Whatever 
those bastages can cram into their veins is fair game. 

When a couple of these guys vapor lock on the last kilometer of 
L'Alpe d'Huez or take down the final sprint on the Champs-Élysées 
then the participants will rethink altering their own body 
chemistry for a yellow shirt. 

..and the U. S. Gummint can stay the f**k out of it. 
 
Thanks, 
 
WP, '64

I mean, really.

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Afterburner == Blowtorch

Bill Whittle is a very calm, logical person. He editorializes over on Pajamas Media (you Google it) and publishes a regular editorial he calls "Afterburner". It is delivered in a very calm, logical style that strips hypocrisy and faithlessness to the bone. The subject of his editorials -- more appropriately, the objects thereof -- are left bleeding and broken in their wake.

I enjoy these pieces because, as you can see from my previous  post, I like goo and gore..

(..NOT! Things just lined up that way.)

Anyway, here is Mr Whittle on the subject of the "Trayvon is a little angel" mantra that the left and the media ("What's the difference?) were laying down.

..someone call an ambulance.

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"What difference does it make?"

Well, old Helen Thomas has started her dirt nap and I cannot say that I am the least bit sad. In fact, I am not anywhere as close to being as despondent as I was when Ted "The Chappaquiddick Breast Stroker" Kennedy began pushing up daisies. And, I can assure you, ladies and gents, there was not a wet eye in the War Planner manse.

War Planner overcome by grief at the news of Ted Kennedy's passing.

So instead of seeing pictures of old Helen wafting around the internet like the one below:

..we'll have to get a pick and a spade, trudge out to Forest Lawn or somewheres, bust a sweat and see something like this:

To be perfectly honest, I am not sure which image is more startling. Either way, I am just wonderfully happy that the old bag has cashed it in and -- as a result of her hateful, ugly feelings bubbling to the surface causing her to dwell in ignominy in last years -- pleased as punch she's not around anymore.

Oh, and if your some lib wandering by here and want to make a comment on what an evil person I seem to be, this is for you:

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All[ah] is well..

An Emergency Call Centre worker in London has been dismissed from her job, much to the dismay of colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with her treatment. It seems a male caller dialed 911 from a mobile phone, stating,"I am depressed and lying here on a railway track. I am waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet Allah."

Apparently "remain calm and stay on the line" was not considered to be an appropriate or correct response.

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Surprise, surprise!

"Surprise, surprise!"

A recent incident in my daily activities reminded me of the old 60s staple, the Arlo Guthrie ballad of Alice's Restaurant. In researching this, I made an incredible discovery: Arlo Guthrie deserted the ranks of the Democrat party and became a registered Republican! In fact, he endorsed Ron Paul in the last presidential

Politics
In earlier years, at least from the 1960s to the 1980s, Guthrie had taken a decidedly leftist approach to American politics. In his often lengthy comments during concerts his expressed positions were consistently anti-war, anti-Nixon, pro-drugs and in favor of making nuclear power illegal. However, he apparently regarded himself as more an individualist than the major youth culture spokesperson he had been regarded as by the media, as evidenced by the lyrics in his 1979 song "Prologue": "I can remember all of your smiles during the demonstrations, ... and together we sang our victory songs though we were worlds apart."

In 1984, he was the featured celebrity in George McGovern's campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination in Guthrie's home state of Massachusetts, performing at rallies and receptions.

More recently he became a registered Republican; Guthrie endorsed Texas Congressman Ron Paul for the 2008 Republican Party nomination. He said, "I love this guy. Dr. Paul is the only candidate I know of who would have signed the Constitution of the United States had he been there. I'm with him, because he seems to be the only candidate who actually believes it has as much relevance today as it did a couple of hundred years ago. I look forward to the day when we can work out the differences we have with the same revolutionary vision and enthusiasm that is our American legacy."[13] He told The New York Times Magazine that he is a Republican because, "We had enough good Democrats. We needed a few more good Republicans. We needed a loyal opposition."

About once a month, Guthrie posts short writings to the Announcements area of www.arlo.net, often sounding libertarian themes. However, on February 1, 2011, his post was to promote the cause of the public employee unions being opposed by Wisconsin Republicans, and to favor the cause of labor unions in general. Previously Guthrie had made comments in public disparaging musicians' unions and stating that he had refused to join one.

..well, on that last paragraph, you can't win 'em all, I suppose. But the way Mr Guthrie is going, I fear that his politics and mine will merge sooner than most Democraps what with Marco Rubio going all weak-kneed and joining that drooler John McCain and Limp-dick Lindsay and John Boner and the rest of the spineless GOP currently selling out conservative principles to the highest bidder in D. C. -- the dirty, rotten bastages.

By the way, here are a couple of riffs from some comedians who have passed into the great beyond that you might find interesting. The common theme, of course, is pointing out what a Charley Foxtrot good ol' liberal causes really are:

And another more timely, but no less piquant:

And, for those wanting to re-live their drug-fogged 60s, here is Arlo's Thanksgiving tour de force for the sake of old times:

And, finally, one final taste of those wonderful forgotten years:

(Sure brings back memories, don't it Odie?)

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What's in store..

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There a re six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

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The Jooooooooooooz..

It's all their fault!

Here is a wonderful preview video of the roots of the IAF:

..when this vid hits the public, I'm there. These folks are good people and they got huge stones. Can you imagine us holding off the combined aggressor forces of the Chi-Coms, USSR, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Saddam Hussein, Iran, the Ottoman empire, the Persian Empire, the Roman Empire, and the Boston Red Sox and New England Patriots (whom I despise) with our current military? That's about what it was like for these guys in 1948.

Not only that, but the four pilots that volunteered had to evade OUR OWN FBI and a blockade to get to Israel. AND they ended up flying war surplus German Messerschmidts in old Luftwaffe flying togs. What immense irony.

And they still kicked the crap out of all of those camel-turd-sucking towel heads.

When I grow up, that's the team I want to play for.

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Return engagement..

Lain fallow for a time as my life has become a living nightmare. I am, nonetheless, celebrating the fact that I don't have to carry a 9 mm. I mean that tutu you have to wear when you do is all scratchy in the crotch 'n stuff.

 

..and then there's this:

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