December 1, 2018

Merry F**king Christmas

Well,  it's that joyous time of year again. You know, when our ears are constantly assaulted by the little ditties calculated to make the sap rise and turn into syrupy sentimentality over the alleged birth of our Savior.

Concomitant with that, there are some pretty impressive suggestions out there about the worst Christmas songs going and, while I do not agree with most lists or have not heard a lot of the commercially generated trash concocted to harvest a few Yuletide dollars, I am down with the concept.

But some traditional songs make their way onto my list because they are treacly and over-played. "Little Drummer Boy" drives me into paroxysms of rage, for example. "My Favorite Things" is on my list as well. In fact, channeling my inner George Carlin, one of "my favorite things" for Christmas would be to take EVERY LIVING ARTIST whoever did a cover of this cloying, saccharine dirge out into the snow and beat them to death with a rusty tire iron.

..in time with the drum beat, of course!


On the other hand, some make my top ten faves precisely because they are irreverent and do not get over-played. An example; this is the IN A GADDA DA VIDA (long) version:


..take off, hoser, eh?

TANGENTIAL EXIT NOTE: Add "Chestnuts Roasting Over and Open Fire" to the list of the most despised. Another wish of mine would be to have Nat King Cole and other cover artists' chestnuts roasting over an open fire. It must be painful!

So, season's greetings. Now, piss off!

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